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55 – Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Stink

I'll admit that I've played Farmville, but there was always something missing....oh right! Zombies!

I'm on a farm!So I finally caved in and downloaded Zombie Farm for my iPod Touch to give it a try. It's pretty much the same thing as Farmville, but with zombies (staying true to the game's name). I've been meaning to try the game out, but been busy with many other games (especially with Cataclysm coming out). If you've never played Farmville, the general idea is that you grow vegetables/fruit and eventually collect animals to take care of. You harvest your crop, collect eggs from chickens, milk the cows to earn money to expand your farm. When growing up, my family grew our own vegetables, collected eggs from chickens and milked the goats. So I stopped playing Farmville when I suddenly realized "Hey! I moved to the city to leave the farm!" and thus quit playing. But wave a zombie game in front of me and I'll give it a try. This first word that comes to mind when thinking of this game is "Adorable!". The avatars are cute little chibi characters and you only have a few to choose from when you first start until you unlock the other possible avatars. So I choose a brunette little farmer girl. My first task was to farm the tomatoes and harvest some zombies that were ready to emerge from their graves. The little undead guys are the cutest little varmints you've ever seen. Then I get a message that I need 10 zombies in order to start an invasion... Wait...what?! Apparently I have to start attacking Farmer McDonnell in order to earn money and points to level up. They give Farmer McDonnell an angry looking expression, the kind you might give to a villainous character. But all I see is a poor farmer trying to protect his kids and farm from the walking undead by throwing anything he has at them. So there I am, encouraging my zombies to eat their brains because they keep on wanting to think of butterflies and hearts. The Zombies aren't even wanting to attack them naturally, so I have to keep popping their little word bubbles till they think of brains. God I'm evil...and wait...it's not so bad. Screw that farmer! It's not easy raising grade A zombies, mutate potatoes on their heads and force them to eat your neighbors. Where's my Zombie prod?! Now I'm an RPer (Roleplayer) when it comes to games. I like to give my little characters personality. I do things like "What would this character do" or in this case "How would little Betty-Sue decorate and manage her farm". The first thing we know of this character is that she enjoys raising the undead to create a zombie army with the intent of sending them off to attack and devour her neighbors. If Betty-Sue was in the "Zombie Ranch" world, she would be one crazy cookie. Your first rival is Farmer McDonnell. Betty-Sue has been really wanting to expand her farm and add more acres so she can grow more crops and harvest more zombies. First Betty-Sue needs to infect a few people to make zombies for her army. Well Maggie has been slacking on her chores all mornin' and Timmy doesn't know how to take no for an answer, so that's a good start. Now she has a good amount of zombies at her command and she's made sure that they're hungerin' for brains. The next challenge will be to win at the County Fair and hopes that Bobby will finally ask her to marry him. If he doesn't, oh well...his loss is her army's gain. Welcome to my over active imagination!

14 thoughts on “55 – Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Stink

  1. Hard to be cool when your heaving your guts onto the ground…

  2. Sorry, you’re, not your for the first one… I was going to say “Your stomach contents are decorating the ground”, but opted for the less flowery version 😉

    1. But I love colorful imagery! Okay maybe not all of it. I am an artist and can visualize very visually.

  3. You know, back when I helped out at my uncle’s slaughterhouse they used to say to breathe through your mouth so you don’t smell it, they forget that breathing through your mouth lets you taste it instead…

    1. I think I remember being told the same thing (though not at a slaughterhouse) and I think I said something like “Now it’s in my mouth!”.

  4. I think this was for the people who felt an understanding towards Frank’s comment in the last comic. You are welcome. 😀

  5. I think the worst part about breathing through your mouth isn’t so much the “I swallowed it!” feeling as it is sensing the stench around the edges still trying to work its way into your nose… waiting for that small lapse of concentration on your part…

    When a smell is so bad you can literally feel it pressing on your skin. You don’t even know if you’re imagining that, but who cares? It’s awful, and IT WANTS IN.

  6. Omfg, you play WoW?! I can’t wait for Cataclysm to come out! Do you play Allie or Horde?

    1. I have a tendency to brag that I’m Queen of the Nerds. So I think I would easily be dethroned if I didn’t play World of Warcraft.

      But I am also a really large nerd…meaning I’m on an RP server and play both alliance and horde. But my main is on alliance. She’s an alcoholic, gambling human that is known for being a terrible spy/thief and will screw up any assassination.

      If there was some sort of neutral alliance, Disara would have been there. When I heard the goblins were going to be made into a race, I was hoping that they were going to be neutral and Disara knew who she was going to hang out with. But Blizzard stuck with only Horde or Alliance.

  7. I had to post a Garden (gnome) Zombie on my facebook in your honor, Dawn. I chuckle when I think that the garden zombies “fartilize”… I know, I’m so growed up.

  8. omgdoh… I just realized, as I was showing my daughter your post, how appropriate farting zombies are (given today’s comic’s title). Good times.

  9. Your Farmville story reminded me of a particular PartiallyClips strip. 🙂

  10. Robert, I am ashamed of your immaturity. You’re such a poopyhead.

    Gillsing, that comic was great!

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