UPDATING OCCASIONALLY (FOR NOW)

9 thoughts on “558 – Cotton Clad Calamity”

  1. Raznaak

    Yup, he’s a bastard XD

  2. Dr. Norman (not a real doctor)

    Are those pajamas available in XXXL in the gift shop?

  3. Otaku

    It’s been a while, so let me ask: Did we get a reason for him to WANT Susie dead? Not to backseat, but if we didn’t, I’m worried were about to move into “Stupid Evil” territory. Now, stupid happens, don’t get me wrong. It’s not bad storytelling for that to be the case here.

    You’ve just done a good job NOT having that be a driving factor, so the “Kill off the stars of my successful reality TV show.” seems shortsighted, otherwise. Oh, I guess I could be mistaken about the in-story reality TV show’s success. Like, if the company behind them is losing money, or they think a change in management at the ranch would make the whole thing more popular/profitable, then I can see the above scenario happening as well.

    I REALLY think I’m just forgetting something important, but that I don’t have time to deep dive to remind me of, hence the comment. >_<

    1. Deoxy

      It certainly has been stretched out over quite a while, but there have definitely been hints from quite near the beginning that whoever is running the reality TV show definitely wants her dead.

      But I certainly don’t recall any reason why.

      1. Clint

        Yeah it’s fair to not remember since it’s been a hot minute (many, many minutes) but if you feel like a refresher the most relevant bits would be the beginning of Episode 8 and the end of Episode 15. We haven’t explicitly spelled out exactly what The Exec means by his “side hustle” or who was on the other end of that phone call, though.

        I’m hoping that when the whole thing is eventually available it will make sense, or at least enough sense to have hung this narrative on.

        1. Otaku

          Thanks for the replies, Deoxy and Clint. Yeah, I’d totally forgotten about those things. Good to know!

  4. Evervigilant

    Seems about time for the two people who aren’t there to make a surprise entrance as the ace Susie didn’t even know she had.

  5. Scarsdale

    There’s still 3-5 people on her side that might be planning something. This guy is a megalomaniac with a god complex, so letting him think he’s the sharpest tool in the shed sets him up for a fall. Everything depends on those cameras, and I suspect their little stop over by the charging coffins had something to do with her actual plan, not the one the a-hole thinks it is.

  6. lyra

    Really enjoyed the opening of Zombie Ranch. I like the combination of the western setting with the zombie concept, it gives the story a really distinctive atmosphere. I’m a freelance illustrator and animator, and I’d be interested in seeing how some of these scenes could translate into motion, especially as a short animated teaser or character scene.

    If you’re ever interested in something like that, you can reach me here:

    IG: eve_verse_
    Email: [contact.lilaclines@gmail.com](mailto:contact.lilaclines@gmail.com)
    Discord: Lyralilac_

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558 – Cotton Clad Calamity
Posted on August 26, 2026 by Dawn

What would you call this? Armchair assassination? Merk-from-home?

Well, Suzie ain't dead (or undead) quite yet, so we'll just have to see if his gloating is justifiable.

Game Talk: Shadow of the Tomb Raider

Posted on January 27, 2021 by Clint

I’ve been a fan of the Tomb Raider franchise since all the way back to Lara Croft’s first debut in 1996. And not just because of the tiddies. I mean honestly, the way things started it’s kind of amazing to think there was ever a controversy over what was basically a triangular wedge. Mind you the marketing did skew heavily towards sex appeal and there were rumors of a “nude code” but…

Where would the nipples even go?

I digress. After several sequels the series rebooted itself in 2013 as a prequel, featuring a younger and far less confident Lara as she took her first steps towards becoming the badass adventurer originally presented. Lara Begins, if you will. The sexuality was also dialed back quite a bit unless you have a thing for torture porn — which hopefully neither you nor the developers do, but I can’t deny there was a lot of wading through gore and dealing with graphic injuries. Someone watched The Descent.

Fortunately by the end of the 2013 game Lara seemed to have found her footing and become the badass. Unfortunately, the follow up seemed to reset all that and put her back in mopey, bumbling noob mode, which was also weird because now you’re doing all the badass things and stealth-or-not-so-stealth killing dudes by the dozens like a pint-sized (Frank Miller) Batman.

Now at some point it was clarified(?) that these reboot prequels would be a trilogy and at the end of the trilogy Lara would at last be her classic self again. So okay, 2018 comes along and the last in the series debuts with Shadow of the Tomb Raider.

And, alas, the scuttlebutt comes down the pipe that we’re still dealing with noobLara, wracked with guilt and parental issues — again in between murdering a lot of folks and animals — and that by the end that arc still isn’t really resolved. So I wasn’t especially motivated to want it at the time, but two years later the Definitive Edition was on sale and no matter how much I’m bitching about certain things the series does draw me back because I’m an exploration junkie and the games still do preserve the core of Tomb Raider that I liked in terms of exotic vistas and spelunking Lara’s way through ancient temples, puzzles and traps. SotTR absolutely delivers on that score and I find it immensely satisfying even if Lara’s introspection and dialogues still occasionally feel frustratingly lacking in confidence compared to her actions.

One other thing that stood out to me was how petite this version of Lara is, and I’m not sure I got that from even the previous installments of the prequels. Lara is very smol, as the kiddies would say — standing amongst a group of mercenaries that capture her near the start she looks almost like a child. As you play though I suppose I’d say this is considered more feature than bug, as there are a lot of small cracks Lara squeezes through that would have trapped or stymied someone of larger stature. If you are at all claustrophobic, this game may be very anxiety-inducing, especially the parts where you’re underwater. And even if this Lara probably isn’t any more than 5’2″ or so, she’s still a rabid little wolverine in combat that can wrestle jaguars and take down grown men twice her weight class.

I haven’t finished the game yet so maybe there’s still time to see her get back to that confident, quippy globetrotter introduced in 1996, but I’m keeping my expectations low and just enjoying the ride. Like I said, it’s definitely scratching my exploration itch especially in this time of pandemic where I rarely even get out of the house.

I should also give some special mention that even if the character’s evolution might be lagging, the controls are as good as they’ve ever been even with some new moves added. It’s all very intuitive, and I am extremely appreciative to whichever dev recognized that 1996 was 25(!) years ago and some of us aren’t as spry as we used to be. There are skill upgrades allowing for more reaction time and even some comfort settings in the game menus now allowing for options like just holding a button/key down rather than having to tap it rapidly, and my fingers and wrists are thankful for this and hope to see more games following suit in the future. Another feature I hadn’t seen before is that when you’re playing around with your graphics settings you can run a “benchmark” which basically goes through three separate rendered scenes to show you a preview of your detail vs. your framerate — and as someone who likes things as pretty as possible (but not so much that the game gets unplayable) it was wonderful to be able to tweak the dials to my liking before even starting the show.