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9 thoughts on “558 – Cotton Clad Calamity”

  1. Raznaak

    Yup, he’s a bastard XD

  2. Dr. Norman (not a real doctor)

    Are those pajamas available in XXXL in the gift shop?

  3. Otaku

    It’s been a while, so let me ask: Did we get a reason for him to WANT Susie dead? Not to backseat, but if we didn’t, I’m worried were about to move into “Stupid Evil” territory. Now, stupid happens, don’t get me wrong. It’s not bad storytelling for that to be the case here.

    You’ve just done a good job NOT having that be a driving factor, so the “Kill off the stars of my successful reality TV show.” seems shortsighted, otherwise. Oh, I guess I could be mistaken about the in-story reality TV show’s success. Like, if the company behind them is losing money, or they think a change in management at the ranch would make the whole thing more popular/profitable, then I can see the above scenario happening as well.

    I REALLY think I’m just forgetting something important, but that I don’t have time to deep dive to remind me of, hence the comment. >_<

    1. Deoxy

      It certainly has been stretched out over quite a while, but there have definitely been hints from quite near the beginning that whoever is running the reality TV show definitely wants her dead.

      But I certainly don’t recall any reason why.

      1. Clint

        Yeah it’s fair to not remember since it’s been a hot minute (many, many minutes) but if you feel like a refresher the most relevant bits would be the beginning of Episode 8 and the end of Episode 15. We haven’t explicitly spelled out exactly what The Exec means by his “side hustle” or who was on the other end of that phone call, though.

        I’m hoping that when the whole thing is eventually available it will make sense, or at least enough sense to have hung this narrative on.

        1. Otaku

          Thanks for the replies, Deoxy and Clint. Yeah, I’d totally forgotten about those things. Good to know!

  4. Evervigilant

    Seems about time for the two people who aren’t there to make a surprise entrance as the ace Susie didn’t even know she had.

  5. Scarsdale

    There’s still 3-5 people on her side that might be planning something. This guy is a megalomaniac with a god complex, so letting him think he’s the sharpest tool in the shed sets him up for a fall. Everything depends on those cameras, and I suspect their little stop over by the charging coffins had something to do with her actual plan, not the one the a-hole thinks it is.

  6. lyra

    Really enjoyed the opening of Zombie Ranch. I like the combination of the western setting with the zombie concept, it gives the story a really distinctive atmosphere. I’m a freelance illustrator and animator, and I’d be interested in seeing how some of these scenes could translate into motion, especially as a short animated teaser or character scene.

    If you’re ever interested in something like that, you can reach me here:

    IG: eve_verse_
    Email: [contact.lilaclines@gmail.com](mailto:contact.lilaclines@gmail.com)
    Discord: Lyralilac_

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558 – Cotton Clad Calamity
Posted on August 26, 2026 by Dawn

What would you call this? Armchair assassination? Merk-from-home?

Well, Suzie ain't dead (or undead) quite yet, so we'll just have to see if his gloating is justifiable.

So very wrong…

Posted on June 8, 2011 by Clint

Dawn and I both share a deep regard for cuteness where cuteness Should Not Be. She goes further than I do in finding abominations to be somehow adorable, cooing over such horrid things as lobsters, zombie horses, and of course, the man she married… but I admit to a dark appreciation for those who can take a concept like a decaying corpse and make it seem somehow cuddly.

To judge by the huge pile of plush, huggable Cthulhu dolls offered up (and purchased) every year at Comic-Con, we are not alone in this aesthetic. A cuddly Cthulhu is one of the definitions of irony: an “incongruity between what might be expected and what actually occurs.” Not rain on your wedding day, so much as running into the Grim Reaper on the pickets at a Pro-Life rally. As a concept, it’s wrong. It’s bizarre. But such ideas fascinate me, and, dare I say, give me warm fuzzies to think about, with or without a Great Old One to hug.

There’s a reason those old PSAs from the 50s and 60s instructing kids about nuclear war have been parodied so much down the years since. They were slapping a happy face onto one of the most horrible fates mankind ever came close to inflicting on itself, and looking back on it the irony was so palpable that we wonder why little Timmy never raised his hand to ask, “Ma’am, exactly how the heck is getting under my desk supposed to protect me from a fireball that wipes out the city?”

But if not for those cheerfully incongruous films, with their bright cheery music and announcers who sounded like they’d spent the morning snorting candy canes and mainlining maple syrup, we might never have had such wonderful things as Vault Man from the Fallout series. I wager that’s because science fiction writers are often fearful that what they’re coming up with is too far “out there” to really resonate with an audience, so it’s simultaneously comforting and horrifying to be able to point to real-world examples that weren’t even meant as a joke. I remember back when I first broached the idea of zombie-based cosmetics and there were protestations along the lines of “BLECH!” — or more succinctly, that it was inconceivable that people would ever put that stuff on their faces. All I had to do in response was link an article on the ingredients already used in modern make-up, and point out the whole Botox trend, besides. Botox is poison. You poison your face. If zombie products could get rid of someone’s wrinkles, does anyone really think that at least a segment of the populace wouldn’t go for it?

Well, in any case, these are the reasons I enjoy the little “media interludes” for Zombie Ranch, where Dawn and I can showcase horrible things occurring in an adorable and cartoony manner. While always hinting that somewhere behind all the toothy smiles, there’s still quite a lot of teeth.

Plus, Chibi Frank. I’m guessing Frank will be highly, highly unamused if he ever sees that.