UPDATING OCCASIONALLY (FOR NOW)

9 thoughts on “558 – Cotton Clad Calamity”

  1. Raznaak

    Yup, he’s a bastard XD

  2. Dr. Norman (not a real doctor)

    Are those pajamas available in XXXL in the gift shop?

  3. Otaku

    It’s been a while, so let me ask: Did we get a reason for him to WANT Susie dead? Not to backseat, but if we didn’t, I’m worried were about to move into “Stupid Evil” territory. Now, stupid happens, don’t get me wrong. It’s not bad storytelling for that to be the case here.

    You’ve just done a good job NOT having that be a driving factor, so the “Kill off the stars of my successful reality TV show.” seems shortsighted, otherwise. Oh, I guess I could be mistaken about the in-story reality TV show’s success. Like, if the company behind them is losing money, or they think a change in management at the ranch would make the whole thing more popular/profitable, then I can see the above scenario happening as well.

    I REALLY think I’m just forgetting something important, but that I don’t have time to deep dive to remind me of, hence the comment. >_<

    1. Deoxy

      It certainly has been stretched out over quite a while, but there have definitely been hints from quite near the beginning that whoever is running the reality TV show definitely wants her dead.

      But I certainly don’t recall any reason why.

      1. Clint

        Yeah it’s fair to not remember since it’s been a hot minute (many, many minutes) but if you feel like a refresher the most relevant bits would be the beginning of Episode 8 and the end of Episode 15. We haven’t explicitly spelled out exactly what The Exec means by his “side hustle” or who was on the other end of that phone call, though.

        I’m hoping that when the whole thing is eventually available it will make sense, or at least enough sense to have hung this narrative on.

        1. Otaku

          Thanks for the replies, Deoxy and Clint. Yeah, I’d totally forgotten about those things. Good to know!

  4. Evervigilant

    Seems about time for the two people who aren’t there to make a surprise entrance as the ace Susie didn’t even know she had.

  5. Scarsdale

    There’s still 3-5 people on her side that might be planning something. This guy is a megalomaniac with a god complex, so letting him think he’s the sharpest tool in the shed sets him up for a fall. Everything depends on those cameras, and I suspect their little stop over by the charging coffins had something to do with her actual plan, not the one the a-hole thinks it is.

  6. lyra

    Really enjoyed the opening of Zombie Ranch. I like the combination of the western setting with the zombie concept, it gives the story a really distinctive atmosphere. I’m a freelance illustrator and animator, and I’d be interested in seeing how some of these scenes could translate into motion, especially as a short animated teaser or character scene.

    If you’re ever interested in something like that, you can reach me here:

    IG: eve_verse_
    Email: [contact.lilaclines@gmail.com](mailto:contact.lilaclines@gmail.com)
    Discord: Lyralilac_

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558 – Cotton Clad Calamity
Posted on August 26, 2026 by Dawn

What would you call this? Armchair assassination? Merk-from-home?

Well, Suzie ain't dead (or undead) quite yet, so we'll just have to see if his gloating is justifiable.

Virtually spotless…

Posted on August 5, 2020 by Clint

“Virtually spotless” was how the dish detergent brand Cascade described its cleaning power on glassware. If you’re pausing right now and thinking that’s a functionally meaningless claim to make, congratulations, you have recognized the advertising trick known as the weasel word. Weasel words make statements sound great without leaving an advertiser on the hook legally when someone finds their wine glasses still have some spots on them. Similar statements like “helps,” for instance “helps prevent cavities” on a mouthwash or toothpaste might also render a claim suspect.

We grow up surrounded by a lot of bullshit and it helps to keep that in mind. You like Froot Loops? Cool, but don’t fool yourself that it’s good for you. “Part of this complete breakfast”? — I mean sure, once you add in the toast, milk, juice, actual fruit, peanut butter… matter of fact, at that point you could just pull the cereal right out of the mix and still have a complete breakfast, couldn’t you? It’s part of your complete breakfast the way parsley is part of your steak dinner. But they’re not lying.

That’s the trick, you know. If they could get away with outright lying to you, they would, as evidenced by the fact that labeling meat as Kobe Beef is a restricted thing in Japan but remains largely unregulated in the U.S.A., so there’s a lot of chicanery involved with basically presenting beef to a consumer that’s got a premium price for nothing more than a four-letter word.

Most of the time though there are laws cramping an advertiser’s style and so it’s time for the weaseling or other techniques preying on a buyer’s ignorance. Ever heard the term “parity product”? That’s something that has no real difference to it no matter who’s selling it to you, and one of the most famous examples is gasoline. Don’t get me wrong, octane ratings are a real thing, but if the octane is the same then it really doesn’t matter and you should be looking for the cheapest available. Yet millions are spent convincing you that you should go to this particular station and pay a dollar or more extra per gallon because their gas helps clean your engine. Which is true, gasoline is a natural solvent. All gasoline.

This technique is sometimes called “water is wet!” because an advertiser is basically saying they have something special going even though it’s just a common feature. It’s trying to get you really excited because their brand of pen contains ink. Or as a recent example, there are packs of beef jerky proudly advertised as “gluten free!” Which, yes, that does tend to be a feature of meat.

Anyhow, the phrase caveat emptor has been around for thousands of years for a reason. Buyer beware, indeed.